I bought this domain back in May to herald the opening of my practice. My head was swimming with shiny new ideas for posts, but every time I sat down to write, my brain shut down. All those great ideas I’d had earlier suddenly became dull and gray, not worth mentioning. Each time, I closed my browser and went with the nearest distraction, putting off the first entry until “later.”
That’s the fun thing about “later;” no matter what you do, there’s always more of it.
Today; however, was different, in that I had found motivation, which took the form of someone mentioning that they had looked at my website a few days ago and me feeling really embarrassed that, apart from dashing off a handful of paragraphs and copy-and-pasting parts of my resume, I’d never actually done anything with this site. If people are actually looking at this, I should probably put something in it to look at.
Here is a picture of my cat. Her name is Marceline and she is terrible, but I love her anyway.
Behold: something to look at.
This morning, I resolved to post a blog entry. I hemmed and hawed about it all day long, and got to thinking about why I was having such a hard time writing it. It’s not like I suddenly came up short on opinions, because I’m pretty sure that will never happen, and I’m always thinking about therapy stuff.
After a few minutes, I realized that my problem wasn’t not knowing what to write; it was being low-key anxious that my writing would be bad, that people would read it and think that it sucked, or that some other thing would happen that would result in someone reading it and thinking that I’m the worst therapist on earth. Putting yourself out there, especially the first time you do something (like launching a private practice and a blog to go with it), is always going to be intimidating, and when you’re a ridiculous perfectionist like me, it’s easy to become numb with the kind of frustrated anxiety that drives you to straight to the land of procrastination and distractions.
So I decided to rip the band-aid off and write about how I didn’t want to write this blog entry.
Are there any band-aids you need to rip off? Such as, perhaps, calling yours truly and scheduling an appointment?